"Whatever you say, honey," he replies.
Whether this is your dad, husband, grandpa, or brother speaking, chances are you've had this conversation. Sometimes I think it's the slogan of the male world. Are they scared to tell us what they think? Or do they really not care? Or do they think we don't care what they think?
The answer remains to be discovered, but one thing is sure; there ARE times when we girls want to know what guys think - particularly in the area of dress. We want to know if we are being "modest enough" or "pretty enough." Sometimes we wish they'd give us a list; "these things are stumbling blocks, and these things aren't."
I'd like to share a (short) list of things that I've heard from guys - either directly, or repeated by a wife or girlfriend - pertaining to the subject of dress and female behavior. I don't share this list to give you a list of rules to keep, or to help you "snag a guy" - you aren't supposed to be dressing or acting for men, but for God. But I have found the following things to be interesting and helpful, and I hope you take them in the same way - things to think about:
- "We notice you."
For some odd reason, I'm still surprised by this, but it's always good to remember that how you act and dress does not go unnoticed. I've been told time and time again that - for better or for worse - guys do notice girls. We may be fooled by the way they avoid us, don't look at us, or don't talk to us, but the fact is - and this is from the horses mouth - men notice women. So no excuses girls - they will notice what we do.
Here's a list of random little habits we may have, that guys say are problematic for them:
- Reaching under our shirt to adjust underclothing.
How awkward is this? Really, girls, let's learn to either discreetly fix things without reaching under, or to find a private place to adjust whatever needs to be fixed. This goes for pulling up camisoles, too. It's great you want to layer so your neckline isn't so low, but if the cami keeps riding down, and you have to keep pulling it up....you're not avoiding attention, which kinda spoils the whole point, doesn't it?
- Bending forward without guarding the neckline
Have you ever been on the receiving end of this blunder? A girl bends forward to set her purse down, or to pick up a child, and all of the sudden you can see from her collar bone down to her belly button. Whoops. Big blush. And you're female. Can you imagine how that feels when a male gets the show? It's astounding how many shirts can do this, even if they have a modest neckline when you're standing upright. But what can we do? Only wear turtlenecks? I hope not. Of course, if you have to constantly tug at the neckline the whole time you wear a shirt, you need to reconsider having it in your closet, but other shirts really are fine except for those "bending deep"
moments. Thankfully, the solution for those shirts can be as simple as forming the habit of putting a fingertips to your neckline when you bend over to keep the edge of your shirt pressed against your body. If you haven't done that before, it may sound awkward in print, but it's really quite subtle and - believe me - the guys who do happen to notice will appreciate it.
- Lines around the hips.
I had a friend tell me once that her fiance confessed to her that he couldn't handle it when she wore a certain garment that had a narrow ribbon right around her hip bones - a little lower than where a dropped waistline would sit. I've heard from other people as well that when the lines of a garment run right around the hip line, it's very distracting to guys. I'm not saying this means all fellows have this problem, but it's just something to be aware of if you're trying to help them out.
I told you my list was short. :) :) I didn't want to give an exhaustive list; just a few points to ponder for the day.
But, for fun, here's a bonus item - something that guys say is very attractive:
Laughter. Smiles. Cheerfulness.
Wanna make someone's day? Smile at them. Ask them how they are. Be cheerful. It doesn't matter who they are - everyone loves a cheerful person.
Who have you smiled at today?